Moving to N Hollywood on Sunday! Im soooo excited!
thats all
Monday, March 2, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
Music, Love and such
I have an undeniable love for musicians (no I'm not a groupie lol) I guess it's because I look at music as a language, and being able to speak it to me is the most romantic, most beautiful, insanely sexy gift ever. I was at a concert a few weeks ago.... this artist packed the small bar from wall to wall...but when he sang, it was like I was the only person in the room..like his lyrics were speaking directly to me...And as I looked around I got the impression every other person in that room (male and female) felt the exact same way.. but thats what music does, it makes polar opposittes, people that have never even met find common ground and relate to one another..... So what is there NOT to love about a musician? yeah I've come to the conclusion I will marry one lol.
On a serious relationship note though, I initially was planning to respond to my boy Ryan's blog entitled "If your so wonderful and attractive then why are you single?"lol..To get inspired I turned on some music which happened to be the previously mentioned artist who was speaking to me and only me :) Who also made me cry right on the spot (no singer has done that since I was three listening to Michael Jackson live and in person!) Ahhh there I go getting off subject again...hmmmm, maybe I have a mild crush on this guy, he does make me smile ear to ear even when not on stage! lol
wait wait wait...back to task at hand wonderful yet single? ummm...hey, heres the thing, I've been in relationships, but to be honest every man I've been with cannot handle my career, cannot handle my goals and when it comes down to it, he just cant handle me. I dont even know what I want in my perfect man, I'm still growing, still learning about myself and very focused so I've decided to stop looking, when I look I end up in terrible situations that aren't the easiest to get out of. I'm so ready to love Lauren...I've never given myself the chance to learn and love me wholely...and I do believe I cant give others what I haven't even given myself. I do understand how dating is an important aspect to finding out what you truly need, want etc in a relationship so I wont shun dates away, but I will take them rather lightly and go with the flow. I do believe I deserve happiness and someone is out there for me, but I also believe we will find each other because we are destined, it will happen, no worries!
In the meantime I will continue to enjoy life, my career and friends...and of course... go to every show my "musician" is holding! haha ;)
On a serious relationship note though, I initially was planning to respond to my boy Ryan's blog entitled "If your so wonderful and attractive then why are you single?"lol..To get inspired I turned on some music which happened to be the previously mentioned artist who was speaking to me and only me :) Who also made me cry right on the spot (no singer has done that since I was three listening to Michael Jackson live and in person!) Ahhh there I go getting off subject again...hmmmm, maybe I have a mild crush on this guy, he does make me smile ear to ear even when not on stage! lol
wait wait wait...back to task at hand wonderful yet single? ummm...hey, heres the thing, I've been in relationships, but to be honest every man I've been with cannot handle my career, cannot handle my goals and when it comes down to it, he just cant handle me. I dont even know what I want in my perfect man, I'm still growing, still learning about myself and very focused so I've decided to stop looking, when I look I end up in terrible situations that aren't the easiest to get out of. I'm so ready to love Lauren...I've never given myself the chance to learn and love me wholely...and I do believe I cant give others what I haven't even given myself. I do understand how dating is an important aspect to finding out what you truly need, want etc in a relationship so I wont shun dates away, but I will take them rather lightly and go with the flow. I do believe I deserve happiness and someone is out there for me, but I also believe we will find each other because we are destined, it will happen, no worries!
In the meantime I will continue to enjoy life, my career and friends...and of course... go to every show my "musician" is holding! haha ;)
Thursday, February 5, 2009
I KNOW better
I promise I do, lol
Detroit was...Detroit. Lots of family time, of course I realized why I left but also how unique this town truly is..nothing like it.
On my way to another locale tomorrow..visiting friends and "potentials" haha. I wont be making the mistake I made tonight though..sometimes its best to just let go, even if its only a friendship...I think I've known that all along, its like what am I holding on to? what can I benefit from this? absolutely nothing and Im sure whoever's reading this is now going "what the heck is she talking about?" lol...
Detroit was...Detroit. Lots of family time, of course I realized why I left but also how unique this town truly is..nothing like it.
On my way to another locale tomorrow..visiting friends and "potentials" haha. I wont be making the mistake I made tonight though..sometimes its best to just let go, even if its only a friendship...I think I've known that all along, its like what am I holding on to? what can I benefit from this? absolutely nothing and Im sure whoever's reading this is now going "what the heck is she talking about?" lol...
Friday, January 30, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Oh Romeo.....
Taking a break from work to say.....Fuck men! lol no I'm not like that but I should be I've had the worst experience with men yet I stil cant be the bitter woman...I move on quickly and easily (well except for that one guy who broke my heart trampled on it, banged another woman on it...you get the point) but even Im still cordial with him. I guess I dont put men on a high pedestal so When they arent what I expected it doesnt hurt as much.
My aunt calls me the black widow...Im still not sure why, It's not like Im one of those girls that knows how to snag any guy she wants just to use him for what she cant get on her own. Im independent and I guess My dad has instilled some hard core values on what my prince charming should entail, and I just have not found him yet.
Im going through a very weird transition phase with a guy right now...I made some stupid decisions, got "caught up" and now I'm kinda lost in this situation...ahhhh...Its deeper then I'm letting on...I cry a lot, I'm not myself around him and I want to be able to grasp ME again ya know?
But you know what, I enjoy being alone and having fun with myself and my girls. My friend (a guy) was saying I need to date...its valuable in learning yourself and What kind of man you really want. Im gonna try dating but I've never been a good "dater" like every day of the weekend im out with a different guy??? I dont know....
Im soooo rambling on lol...sayin so much but not really saying anything so Im out
:)
My aunt calls me the black widow...Im still not sure why, It's not like Im one of those girls that knows how to snag any guy she wants just to use him for what she cant get on her own. Im independent and I guess My dad has instilled some hard core values on what my prince charming should entail, and I just have not found him yet.
Im going through a very weird transition phase with a guy right now...I made some stupid decisions, got "caught up" and now I'm kinda lost in this situation...ahhhh...Its deeper then I'm letting on...I cry a lot, I'm not myself around him and I want to be able to grasp ME again ya know?
But you know what, I enjoy being alone and having fun with myself and my girls. My friend (a guy) was saying I need to date...its valuable in learning yourself and What kind of man you really want. Im gonna try dating but I've never been a good "dater" like every day of the weekend im out with a different guy??? I dont know....
Im soooo rambling on lol...sayin so much but not really saying anything so Im out
:)
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Introspect
“you just weren’t memorable”
Those words are forever engraved in my mind…Its something that’s hard to swallow but I’m glad to know. Im taking a class with the vp of talent at fremantle(American ideol, price is rigt) and today was our first class…Basically I was told I’m good as a host..but just good not bad not great..that hurts but I know I have so much work to do to gain my true potential.
It got me to thinking though….being memorable.what makes a person memorable in a positive light ? we all remember the slutty drunk girl or the nerdy guy so nervous he threw up all over his courdoroy high waters…obviously we remember the conceited ones..but what does it take to combine the proper qualities to be…truly”memorable”
Hmmm….
Well for now all I can do is be myself..find myself even more and hone in all of my skills. I’m prepared for the criticism, the pain and the ultimate result. I was born for this
Those words are forever engraved in my mind…Its something that’s hard to swallow but I’m glad to know. Im taking a class with the vp of talent at fremantle(American ideol, price is rigt) and today was our first class…Basically I was told I’m good as a host..but just good not bad not great..that hurts but I know I have so much work to do to gain my true potential.
It got me to thinking though….being memorable.what makes a person memorable in a positive light ? we all remember the slutty drunk girl or the nerdy guy so nervous he threw up all over his courdoroy high waters…obviously we remember the conceited ones..but what does it take to combine the proper qualities to be…truly”memorable”
Hmmm….
Well for now all I can do is be myself..find myself even more and hone in all of my skills. I’m prepared for the criticism, the pain and the ultimate result. I was born for this
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